


Tap, tap, tap

by rawwrrr (ladyYellow)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Dancer Kim Jongin | Kai, Doubt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Kim Jongin | Kai is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Paris (City)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:06:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26106172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyYellow/pseuds/rawwrrr
Summary: “Do- do you know? When I was younger I used to tap my mom three times when I wanted to say I loved her... As a dancer, your body language should be better than your words... I guess”
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 28





	Tap, tap, tap

Sometimes, preparing coffee in an empty kitchen seems overwhelming. Hearing the rain outside should be soothing, but it isn’t.

“It’s late” Sehun says as he hears Jongin opening the door and he receives a small huf as an answer while Jongin throws his things over the couch and he walks to their bedroom, he doesn’t even bother turning on the light. Sehun presses his lips into a thin line but he doesn’t say anything. His boyfriend has been like this all week.

Calmed, he sips his coffee and he closes his eyes. The cold dinner lays on the table and he tries not to think in the waste of time that represents cooking dinner for someone who doesn’t care. He opens his eyes and looks at the hallway that leads to their bedroom. Sehun wonders if his decision of leaving with him was the best idea he ever had. He scans the flat looking for something to clean, but there’s nothing.

He walks slowly to the bedroom after he finishes his coffee, not without ordering the stuff Jongin left scattered in a more presentable pile of things. Sehun doesn’t like living in a messy flat.

When he opens the door, he finds Jongin already in their bed, and he guesses he’s not asleep yet (even if he seems to be tired as fuck), but he still tries to be as quiet as possible.

Sehun hums a song to himself as he tries to find his comfy clothes in the dark as he thinks in their current situation. When they left Korea in order to pursue Jongin’s dream of belonging to the Paris’ Ballet, he didn’t think he was going to be alone most of the time. Sure, he imagined it, after all Jongin had to train and practice, but what wasn’t in Sehun’s plan was that Jongin was awful dealing with stress and that it was going to affect their relationship.

Sehun wonders if he should go back to Korea and allow Jongin to follow his dreams in peace, without him holding him back. He guesses it won’t be that hard for him to incorporate back to his past life, after all he’s just an illustrator and he can work anywhere in the world.

“Aren’t you coming to bed already?” Jongin mumbles with a hoarse voice and Sehun tries not to stare at his swollen feet because that makes him feel sad.

“In a moment” they remain quiet for a while, before Sehun adds “Nini, you should rest” Jongin hums, but doesn’t answer anything else. Sehun sighs.

“Can’t” Sehun nods and turns around when he hears Jongin mumbling something he doesn’t quite understand.

“What was that?”

“I can’t rest if you’re not here, by my side” Sehun notices it takes a great amount of effort for Jongin to tell him that, either because he’s not really good with feelings or because he’s tired. 

“Oh. Give me a minute, I’m going to brush my teeth” Sehun doesn’t wait for an answer.

Sehun closes the door of the bathroom behind him and brushes his teeth with tears sliding down his cheeks. He can’t recall the amount of times Jongin has remained silent after he has told him he loves him, just offering wide open eyes. At first it hurt, but now Sehun is used to it. Or it was used to it, because that comment left him unarmed, exposed, and he doesn’t want Jongin to watch him in that state. It hurts.

He hears the door of the bathroom being open and Jongin comes in a second later, Sehun doesn’t have time to wipe away his tears.

“I know I have been an awful boyfriend, Sehun-ah” he says as he hugs Sehun and he stills, not knowing how to answer “Today the trainer told me I wasn’t expressing my feelings properly, and that was holding me back to be a better dancer. And then I thought about you. I know you never say anything, but you’re better with your feelings than me, I can read you like a book” Sehun is speechless, his tears are flowing again.

“Do- do you know? When I was younger I used to tap my mom three times when I wanted to say I loved her... As a dancer, your body language should be better than your words... I guess” Jongin smiles and kisses Sehun’s forehead.

“Shall we go to sleep now? It’s been a tiring day for the both of us” Sehun just nods.

Sehun wakes up, feeling Jongin tapping on his shoulder. _Tap, tap, tap. I love you._ Sehun smiles.

“Good morning, Nini” Jongin kisses him softly, and Sehun feels something different between their dynamic. “Did you sleep well?” Jongin only hums and Sehun looks at his phone, realizing it’s late. “What are you doing here?! It’s late and you haven’t changed nor- Breakfast, I need to cook breakfast while you shower-” before Sehun stands up, Jongin holds him and he feels another _tap, tap, tap_ on his wrist.

“We have a free week, I just couldn’t tell you because I was too tired yesterday” Sehun stops wiggling as he frowns.

“Do you want to do something today, then? Do you want a foot massage? Your feet don't look in the best state...” _tap, tap, tap._

“No, Sehun-ah. It’s fine. I just want to stay here with you for a while. Can we?”

“Sure, I didn’t have plans for today” Jongin taps again. _Tap, tap, tap._ He hugs Sehun and he taps his thigh once again. _Tap, tap, tap._

This probably doesn’t change a single thing for Sehun and Jongin. They’re still struggling in a foreign place. Jongin still has a lot of practices to assist and he will be arriving late as always. Sehun will be alone most of the time, trying to learn french so he can buy food without Jongin’s help. They will sure fight for stupid things and Sehun will probably wonder from time to time if being here, sacrificing the time he could spend with his friends and family, is worth it.

“I love you” he recites, not expecting an answer, but Jongin taps his shoulder three times. _I love you._

Sehun closes his eyes, thinking they’ll manage just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> I should be working, but I am not. Instead, I'm just editing one of those really really old works of mine and posting it here.  
> I changed like half of the story, but I guess I liked this better.  
> Uhm... I should probably go back to my daily duties LOL.
> 
> Thank you so much for give this story an opportunity, I sincerely hope you liked it.  
> Thanks for reading, and we'll read us in another story ;)  
> Take care!!


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